“Leader of the tribe”

“Outstanding people have one thing in common and that is an absolute sense of mission”. Zig Ziglar

You may know him as a fitness guru of Cape Town, but today we take a look at him through a different lens.

Question: What is the meaning of your name – do you know?

My name means “Leader of the tribe”. “I was born as a result of an unplanned pregnancy to a teenage mother.  She happened to decide on my name because she saw a movie where one of the characters named Remo or Remi ‘could walk on water’.  My mom changed my name to Reemay (pronounced phonetically ‘Re-may’).” 

I’m not too sure that his mother was aware of the weight of the name that she gave him at birth. But I’m convinced that the name was created just for him. Because in real life she was as unprepared for this ‘leader of the tribe’ as any young mom in her condition could ever be.  But yet prophetically the name ‘chose’ him.  As the book of Proverbs says in Chapter 22 verse 1 ‘A good name is more desirable than riches.’

He spends his free time with his family.  He is married and has 2 boys aged 12 and 5 years old.  Because he grew up without his own father, he is very motivated to be a present, active father to his boys.  He wants to invest in their lives by always going the extra mile. And he makes sure that they know that he loves them by telling them and also showing them. (“I hug my boys”).

He came to realize that Love spells ‘Time’.  No amount of money is able to replace your presence in the lives of your kids.

When asked the question what did the ‘void’ of not having his own dad in his life feel like, his response was: “I remember the emptiness. I remember struggling with an identity crisis. I felt lost. But I believe that God stepped in at the right time, and changed my reality.  Fortunately for me I wasn’t rebellious.  I just knew I needed something to fill that void in me. So strangely I found myself in a gym at the age of 15.  And as I always like to explain my story is that I think before I found God, He orchestrated my entire life to meet me at that particular point of my life.  I found my refuge in the gym.  Some of my friends started with me, but most of them dropped out.  Because remember gangsterism was very much prevalent then, and I could of easily have succumbed to the pressure being that young. But thankfully the gym was an outlet as it gave me some sort of ‘escape’.  It helped with building my self-confidence.  It taught me to stand for something.  That was the ‘rebirth of Reemay’.”

The move from from Parkwood to Mitchell’s Plain was a tremendous challenge for this youngster.
Living with his granny, and still going through the usual day-to-day challenges a teenage boy of 15 faces, he was invited by a friend to attend a youth service at their church.  And because he started going regularly, he believes there was a sudden ‘light bulb moment’ for the rest of the family as they in turn started going albeit to a different denomination.  So at the age of 17/18 years of age, he made a decision that following the call of God on his life, was important.

But the gym had something that kept drawing him back there.

He later realized that he was initially drawn there because there was a certain ‘image’ he tried to emulate.  Not so much to idolize the pictures of the famous guys but he found himself striving to look like some of them.  He wanted to be buff like the Schwartzeneggers or Stallones or the Jean-Claude Van Dammes.  But later started questioning why it was taking so long for him to look like that.  Then he realized that the slow process was building his character. And that is the message that he also would like people to get and that is that the process cannot be rushed.  Whatever you want in life that is worthwhile, takes time!

On the question as to what can we as society can do to change the negative stigma about Mitchell’s Plain’s image, he offered that part of the solution is that perceptions need to change.  There are a lot of reasons why people get involved in gangsterism which cannot be solved in a solitary way.  We need a lot of cohesive cooperation by various institutions e.g. police, army, safety and security firms to create a peaceful existence for our kids.  But the fear that is currently ruling our communities, is unacceptable as it feeds the vicious cycle of violence.  The more positive things we put ‘out there’ the more we can change perceptions. That way we can take the perceived power away from the negative images and build a more positive vision for our communities.  The more good news stories are displayed on the lamp posts and in community newspapers and the media, the more we can motivate and stimulate a positive mindset.

Good people are bearing the brunt of the bad things that a few individuals who are in the minority, are doing.  Good people are still in the majority.  “It is so true that bad things happen because good people do nothing.” We must speak more positively about our own communities. And try as hard as we can to instill a positive mindset into our youth.  Offer solutions like for instance healthy bodies, healthy minds.  Respect yourself, respect your elders.  We must drive the impact of having present dads vs those who absconded their responsibility more strongly.  And bring back the focus on the role of good fathers/mentors/role models. Change our narrative.

I tried to find out more about the lady that makes his eyes shine.  But he seemed a bit more guarded.  And I got that he is indeed ‘the leader of his tribe’ so it stands to reason that he would want to protect them. But he did let fall that she is completely opposite to him.  He views himself as an extrovert (although I personally think he is an introvert masquerading as an extrovert), and she is an introvert. As in all marriage relationships, they’ve learnt to live as much for their kids as they do for the two of them. They started out as friends who met at school (even though they never dated back then), and are still very much that. He also views Communication as very important, and that they had to learn to get to know each other over time. 

To the question whether he has a lot of friends he confessed that he knows a lot of people but he doesn’t have a lot of friends.  Because he lives a very busy life he hardly has time to ‘chill’ with his friends.  For ME-time he will often just go to the movies just to clear his head.

I don’t easily let up so I rephrased the question: “If I were to run into one of your friends, how would they describe you”?

Without missing a beat his reply was that he thinks they will say that “I Love God, Love my Family, Love to Gym.  They would also say that I’m very friendly, compassionate and humble.

Question: Would you describe yourself as average, ordinary or extraordinary?

I think I’m extra-ordinary.

Question: Qualify that statement for me

“Because of what I have accomplished.  God has taken me through so many doors of opportunity, working in the Media, on Radio, and getting to meet and know so many ‘celebrities’.  And then I live in Mitchell’s Plain. How is that normal?  I live in Mitchell’s Plain but yet, I’m out there doing extraordinary things without being arrogant about it.  I was not qualified based on my background (unplanned pregnancy) but God qualifies the unqualified.

I think this saying “Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” Zig Ziglar holds very true for this young man.

Question: Is there one thing that you want the world to remember except the fact that you love God, your family and the gym? What legacy are you leaving for your boys?

God has allowed me to use the gym to encourage people.  You can be a nothing today but you can work hard and become something.  It is about not giving up.  Don’t ever forget where you come from.  But you can become the best version of yourself

Question: This cliché that people say that men don’t cry.  Is it true for you?

No, I do cry.  I believe crying is not a sign of weakness.  I cry for my family. I become sad sometimes.  I can admit when I am wrong.  A real man serves God.  I cry when I miss my grandmother and my grandfather.  But I use it as a platform to come back stronger than before.

Question: “Outstanding people have one thing in common and that is an absolute sense of mission”.  Is it true for you?

Yes, absolutely!

Well, at the end of our meet I trust that you have learnt one thing (if not more) about Reemay, other than him being a fitness guru.  Because I met a humble, compassionate and caring young man whose heartbeat is not only for fitness, but for changing the perception about his community.  He is “Proudly Mitchell’s Plain”.  He Loves his family, and would like to use fitness and the gym as a platform to encourage other young men, to become a better version of themselves.

His message is loud and clear that when you get to meet some famous people on a daily basis, don’t let that go to your head.  Remain humble, and don’t ever forget where you are coming from.  Most of all serve God, because it takes a real man to do so and to say NO to drugs, gangsterism and any form of deviation that can blind you to possibility that you are called for bigger and greater things.